Corner Turned

I feel like I turned a corner Monday. First off, got a call about a placement. Said no. Another set of sisters, and two is definitely more than I can handle. One is pushing it some days, so I am still waiting. But there was something so hopeful about getting a call. The reminder that it could happen at any time. And that there are kids out there who desperately need a safe place to go. Some of the haze I felt like I had been living with seem to lift. Oh the power of a phone call.

Spent part of that night watching videos of #4 with the roommate. And I managed not to cry! Big day. She was so fun and funny toward the end. We have a lot of videos of her laughing and playing and they made me smile so much. Ready to have some more smiles and giggles around here. It's too quiet.

That phone call has kicked me into gear to get some things done around the house. There are some things that are just harder to do with a kid around, namely clean out my closet. It shares a wall with the baby room and so I never want to work on it while a kid is sleeping which is all of my available productive time when a kid is here. I think I've managed to get enough other things done that I MIGHT start on that tonight or tomorrow. Which will in turn lead to a huge Goodwill run. It's purge time y'all.

Still loving Holding onto Hope. I could blog daily about what I am reading. In fact, I'm almost done with the book part and am planning on re-reading the whole thing when I am done. It is that good. Coming from a girl who struggles to read non-fiction, that's about the highest praise you can get. I'm also working my way through Grace for the Good Girl by Emily Freeman and doing my BSF daily for one of the first times ever. (Well, I've done two days when I was supposed to, but I have high hopes it will continue. :))

You know what the key was for me to get out of my funk and start doing what I knew would help - Dr. Pepper. You see I ran out of Dr. Pepper right after #4 left and avoided the grocery store for awhile. Once I had my caffeine to look forward to in the morning, it was so much easier for me to get up and do things. Still makes me shake my head a little, but I'm running with what works. (Got up at 10 today, but the DP while doing my Bible Study made it ok. Addicted much?)

I'll leave you with a couple of quotes from the Mystery chapter of Holding onto Hope:

Somehow I think that even if God listed all of the reasons he has allowed you to lose your loved one, develop the disease, or suffer the rejection, it still wouldn't seem worth it from your limited understanding and experience.

 and the follow up a couple of paragraphs later:

Like Job, we often cannot see the hidden purposes of God. Still, we can determine to be faithful and keep walking toward him in the darkness.

Our task is not to decipher exactly how all of life's pieces fit and what they all mean but to remain faithful and obedient to God, who knows all mysteries. That is the kind of faith that is pleasing to God - a faith that is determined to trust him when he has not answered all other questions, when we have not heard the voice from the whirlwind.

That is my goal in all of this - to have the kind of faith that trusts God when he hasn't answered my question of - for what purpose. For what purpose is this time of pain? For what purpose is this time of unemployment? Am I letting Him mold me to look more like Christ as I go through these days? I am excited to see what a beautiful picture it will be on the other side when He is done painting.