On the precipice...

Something big is coming. I can feel it in my bones. I actually have the "I don't want to eat because so much emotional junk is going on in my brain." I haven't felt this way since my sophomore year of college. (though it's not nearly that extreme. I'm actually eating which wasn't what happened then)  I really thought I was getting sick for awhile, but now I think it is just everything. I could be more specific, but the junk is too personal.

I got really shaken up (in a good way) at Summer Staff Bible Study on Wednesday.  I am complacent.  I would much rather run the path of least resistance than face challenges of any kind. I hate change. I hate conflict. I'm passive-aggressive. I'm lazy. I'm a gossip. I'm am a sinful, fallen person who has so far to go in her walk with the Lord. 

My heart is at a very tender place right now.  It is time for me to do what I know. But sometimes, ok all the time, putting the talk to action is so hard. 

Who knows how long this period of stress will last. I know it will make me grow, but growing up is so hard...