Blessings and Hardship

Sometimes it is hard to write out all that is going on. I am in the midst of a time of extreme blessing and extreme hardship. Ok extreme probably isn't the correct word, but seriously, it feels that way sometimes.

On March 12, a precious newborn little girl came to live at my house! My dream placement. Granted, I was nervous about working while not sleeping at night, but overall, I was OVERJOYED. Blessing y'all. Total blessing.

On March 14, I went to work expecting a normal day and was home by 10:30am, jobless. That's right. My employer needed to redirect my position, I wasn't a good fit, and therefore, I was let go. It was a mutual decision and probably best for me in the long run. However, there is nothing easy about losing one's job.

Blessing - I have gotten to stay at home and take care of this sweet baby girl for two weeks. It has been wonderful. Not to mention, getting up in the middle of the night is infinitely easier when you don't have to work the next day.

Hardship - I have NO idea what I should do with the rest of my life. I want this next career path to be one that can stick. I'm weary of the change every two years. I'm weary of going to work and not loving what I do. Being passionate about it. I know the Lord has good plans for me but I have no idea what they are.

Another single foster mom said this on her blog today and it hit me between the eyes:

"The truth is, for me your trials may be easier or harder, but they wouldn't make me look more like Christ.  And my trials might be easier or harder for you to handle, but that is not what will make you look more like Christ.  He is glorified in our weakness, so of course our trials are going to bring out what is weakest in us, but this is for our good. Our trials are specifically chosen for us by our Creator who knows what is best for us, in order that we may be perfect and complete lacking in nothing and that He may get the glory for it."


God is pushing me to look more like him. Thankfully, I have been wise financially, so I don't have to rush out and find a job RIGHT THIS SECOND. I have some time. However, I don't necessarily want to just sit around and do nothing. I have to take steps in the right direction. So I am going to have to start making some goals. Because life with a newborn makes it awfully easy to reach the end of the day and have done NOTHING other than feed, change and snuggle a baby. And while there is nothing wrong with that, it doesn't pay the bills or put food on the table when time runs out. 


May this trial make me more like Jesus. And may I move forward with finding what HE has for me today. And tomorrow. And forever.