Road Block

All week I have been trying to eek out time to fill out my FWISD teacher application. I got all of my attachments ready and was prepared to spend an hour of this afternoon filling it out. Then I got online. Clicked around to find the application. And it wasn't where I was expecting it to be. As a matter of fact, I couldn't even find anything close to resembling the application I had been looking at for the past week.

I found their online application, only to have it tell me that there are no job opportunities. Which is funny, because they have a huge list of them available (even though I hadn't been able to find that information before today either). So now I don't know if this is a road block or yet another call to be patient. And now I really want a nap. Maybe that is what I will do since my original plans for this afternoon are gone. Sigh.

Another Day

I have managed to move to a more hour by hour laying things down that are out of my control. It is helpful to have certain things in my life calm down some. Others are totally hectic and crazy. (ie, I am working every night this week and have other craziness going on too.) It's amazing how one week things will seem dismal and the next doable. We are definitely in doable mode right now.

I am officially applying to teach at the school district where I grew up. I'm going to a teacher fair on Monday and we will see what happens. I think my biggest fear is that I will get a call back and be offered a job that day. I don't know what I would do. I desperately want a job and I don't want to move!!

My desire to stay where I am was enforced even more tonight when I spent some quality time with 4 munchkins who all know exactly who Miss Joanna is and how much they like being around her. The thought of not seeing them regularly breaks my heart. It's hard enough that my niece and nephew only see me every six months or so. And my friends that have become family. I know that we will always be friends, but it won't be the same. If moving is what God has planned for me, He is going to have to give me some SERIOUS strength. I don't like change.

So life is better. Held slightly more loosely. And harder, with my heart so firmly grounded here, the thought of leaving is not fun. We will see what the future holds. Tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities.

That Kind of Day

Oh what a day. Many things happened, none of which I want to openly disclose to the world, but to summarize it all part of my conversation with my mom went like this:

Me: "I feel like my life is in a blender right now."
Mom: "But think of what an amazing smoothie is going to come out at the end."

My sister and I decided we would prefer the smoothie to be frozen yogurt based with minimal banana flavoring. I am thankful for family that can support me and make me laugh during this crazy time, when literally NOTHING seems to be stable. I'm to the point of having to minute by minute turn everything over to God. Oh me and my planning tendencies. So good in some ways and so hard in others.

And so tonight I am going to go get some little people hugs. And then sleep. Until the problems rear their ugly heads again tomorrow. And once again return to the minute by minute reminding myself that God knows exactly where I am going to be tomorrow and the next day and the next.

Time Flies

When you are super busy, it's funny how fast time goes by. Some fun was definitely involved in the last week. After all the metroplex is home to me in many ways. However after 6 days away from my bed, I am ready to be home. Highlights from the week of traveling include:

• Meeting my new nephew Ben and spending time with my sweet niece Jackie. And getting some good quality time with my longest friend, Tiffany. (Any time a friendship lasts over 10 years there should be an award. We are on year 16.)
• Spending time with my sister. How can two people be so different and yet so similar. Time together is always a blast. I also got to meet the special someone in her life. He passed test 1. We'll see how he does in the long haul. :)
• Seeing the harbor in Rockwall for the first time. At dusk. It was BEAUTIFUL. And eating ice cream while walking and talking with my sister. Fun.
• Discovering via the Wii Fit that I am 34 years old and have managed to lose 5 pounds without doing anything. (Unless you count never eating out and therefore practically eliminating soda from my diet something...) It's no wonder some of my clothes are feeling too big.
  

Now it's back to East Texas and the adventure of summer being in full swing. I have some hours to make up after my adventure of this last week, but the Summer Staff should make that a fairly easy task. They are fun to spend time with! And so here we go. Summer here I come!

Bittersweet Day

Yesterday was a bittersweet day. I received a phone call last Friday from a dear friend in Boston saying that her Grandmother had passed away. The funeral was yesterday and I thank the Lord that with my current state of part time employment I could drop everything and come be by Tiffany's side.

You see, I spent many hours in Grandmolly's pool each summer growing up and her husband Poppy had left us for heaven less than a year ago. Of course the pool has been filled in and turned into a garden. I haven't been to their house in years, but there is an intense sadness when someone so associated with your childhood is gone. Not to mention my hurt for my friend.

I've been down this road before. If you know me, you know that I don't have any grandparents left. From the time I was 20 until right before I turned 24 I went from having three grandparents at every major event in my life to none. It was a tough 3 years. My grandmother and grandfather died just under a year apart. Two years before that, my meema was taken by cancer. All these memories and more come back as I watch my friend struggle through the same pain.

But the joy - We know where Grandmolly is! We know that she is up in heaven rejoicing with Poppy and praising our Savior. Someone mentioned to me how joyful Baptist funerals seem to be. Because the funeral focuses on the fact that Grandmolly knew Jesus. In a personal way. And so now she is in heaven worshiping Him and in awe of all that He is. What peace there is in this. And hope.

And a joy that's closer to home! I have finally gotten to meet my sweet nephew! Ben was born two months ago in Massachusetts and I didn't have the money to go visit. I have been longing to hold him in my arms and to whisper in his ear how much I love him. Even from afar he is loved. So much. By an Aunt Joanna that he will only see a few times a year. And goodness. His sister Jackie is so cute and fun. Running everywhere and starting to learn words. I love these kiddos.

So there is my heart. Hurting but joyful. Holding on to the joy of the little ones while mourning what has been lost. And being here for whatever Tiffany needs. We sang a song at the funeral. One of my favorite hymns. Great is thy faithfulness. And it is so true. Morning by Morning new Mercies I see. All I have needed thy hand hath provided. Great is thy faithfulness Lord unto me.

What would you do?

On Tuesday night I was driving home from working in child care at a local church. Getting to and from the aforementioned church takes me down several less traveled country roads. I was at an intersection by the Blue Store Gas Station attempting to turn left from a highway onto a country road. When I pulled up to the light, I noticed a state trooper had someone pulled over in the parking lot of the Blue Store. "Noted," I thought to myself. "There is a police officer right there. I must make sure I obey all traffic laws to the letter."

I was sitting at a red light. No green circles, or even flashing yellow arrows, letting you turn left while the oncoming traffic has a green. I pull up to the light at approximately 9:10pm. At 9:15 I realize that I have somehow managed to not trip the light sensor. The light has gone through several rotations and no green arrow for Joanna. I try pulling forward a little bit (mind you the cop is still sitting at the gas station). Another cycle of lights; no green for Joanna.

So I decided I would wait for the police officer to finish with his current ticket giving and go on his merry way and then I would figure out what I would do. Around 9:20, he finishes. Pulls out of the parking lot drives down the highway behind me. About the time I am losing his tail lights (I didn't want to do anything before that) he flips a U-Turn, parks, and turns his lights off. Well crud, what am I supposed to do now?!?

So I call my dad. I figure whatever I do, at least if I do what my dad says to, he can't give me a guilt trip if I get a ticket, right? Dad's response, "I have no idea what I would do." Not. Helpful. I spend about 5 minutes talking to my dad, trying to come up with the best solution. and nothing is coming to mind.

While I was on the phone with my dad, a car finally pulled in behind me in the turn lane and tripped the sensor. I gleefully turned at my green arrow and looked in my rear view mirror sending well wishes to the person behind me. And they definitely needed them. They got in the turn lane because the police officer was pulling them over.

But the real question is, what if that person had not pulled into the turn lane? What are you supposed to do in such a situation? No one has given me an answer yet. Any of you have any ideas?

Big Day

Today was a big day. The day of the test results! I started off the day with some Sweatin' to the Oldies, which left me feeling good about myself, and ready for just about anything. I managed to be in the office by 10am (a minor miracle for me) and there it was. The email saying my scores were posted. My heart pounded. It got hard to breathe. I logged on. Only to discover I had to download a PDF. Seriously, T1 download FASTER. Then I clicked on the PDF and saw the magnificent word. PASSED. That's right, I passed! I literally got out of my chair and jumped up and down. Called my mom and responded to her hello with "I passed. I passed. I passed." Excited might be an understatement. :)

So now on to the next step. Finishing filling out my teaching applications for the other local districts. And waiting to see where God leads. These next few months are going to be an adventure for sure!